REdefining RElations

The 3 Big Lessons You Learn When You Turn 30

How To Trust Intelligently

30 Quotes on Trust That Will Make You Think

Kako da pročitate ljude: Tri ključne tehnike

6 Ways to Get More Comfortable With Others, and Yourself

40 Things I Want to Tell My Kids Before They’re Too Cool to Listen

Six Ways to Objectively Determine Your Worth at Work

4 Hacks to Make You a Strong Negotiator

6 Powerful Communication Tips From Some of the World’s Best Interviewers

13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People

5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control

How to Mute Your Negative Inner Dialogue

Do You Still Get Angry ? Read this & then Decide!

5 Vital Lessons for People Who Feel Like They’re Not Good Enough

How To Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely

6 Ways to Stop Worrying So Much

Why You Need To Believe In Yourself

Focus on Where You Are, Not Where You Wish You Were

How To Turn Reinventing Yourself Into a Daily Habit

12 Steps for Self Care

What Is Love, and What Isn’t?

15 Little ‘Flaws’ The Woman You Love And Call Perfect Should Have

How to Love a Girl Who Doesn’t Know How to Be Loved.

14 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

How to Lose the Woman You Love For Good.

... not where I used to be.

Rutina 21, 66

The Most Overlooked Aspects of Creating a Lasting Morning Routine

16 Easy Ways To Improve Your Focus

How To Take Control Of Your Mind And Focus Better

8 Simple Ways To Stimulate Your Brain Power

Four Things You Need To Be Doing To Keep Your Brain Healthy

5 Ways To Raise Your Vibration Right Now

Benefits of Meditation

You Asked: Is Meditation Really Worth It?

We Need To Take Meditation More Seriously As Medicine

How Meditation Changes Our Brains For The Better

BI: 7 ways meditation changes your brain and body

Meditation Stop Your Brain From Withering Away

Harvard Study Unveils What Meditation Literally Does To The Brain

Harvard Unveils MRI Study Proving Meditation Literally Rebuilds The Brain’s Gray Matter In 8 Weeks

The Incredible Impact A Few Hours Of Mindfulness Has On The Brain

SA: What Does Mindfulness Meditation Do to Your Brain?

How Mindfulness Is Revolutionizing Mental Health Care

100 Hours of Meditation in 10 Days — My Stay in Buddhist Prison

Daily Meditation: Wash Anxiety Away

Daily Meditation: Managing Distraction

Daily Meditation: Cosmos

Why Yoga Should Be Your New Year’s Resolution

12 Ways Yoga Changed My Life (And Could Change Yours)

7 Reasons You Should Practice Yoga

What a Month of Yoga Did for a Regular Person

The Only 2 Yoga Poses You Need For Mental & Physical Balance

Study: Social Anxiety is Associated with Being an Empath

The Ultimate Guide For Empaths: 9 Tips To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Illnesses

Are You A Highly Sensitive Person? Here’s The Science Behind This Personality Type

6 Ways Emotions Can Cloud Your Judgement

Pet načina za savladavanje burnih reakcija

How to Stop the Rampage of Negative Thoughts

How Successful People Stay Calm

Want to be happy? Slow down

The Noble Eightfold Path

The Eightfold Path

PRVIH STO DANA PROMENA

interstellar_ver2_xlgDanas je punih sto dana od kada sam počeo da vodim duhovni dnevnik, i kada sam preuzeo novi “kurs” u svom životu, prema radu na sebi. Od tada, prošao sam kroz razne faze, kroz odnos i raskid sa Bubom, preseljenje u novi stan i početak života sam, u svom ličnom prostoru, zatim kroz prolazak raskida sa Bubom, kroz samoću, kroz probleme na poslu zbog mog trošenja energije na stvari koje su me iscrpljivale i odvlačile me od posla, zatim sa novim odlukama koje sam počeo da donosim (vezano za odseljenje od Bube 1. oktobra, “godišnjicu velikih odluka” 14. oktobra, i svoj 33. rođendan), novi način života, novi prijatelji u životu – i jedan drugačiji pogled na život i drugačija stremljenja. Svašta se izdešavalo za ovih 100 dana. Bilo je emotivnih vožnji, i jedan emotivni break. Ali iz svega toga proizašle su brojne lekcije – i jedna od najvećih koje sam “saznao” i naučio: rad na emocijama je 24-časovni rad, a osećanje mentalnog i emotivnog mira i zadovoljstva samim sobom proizilaze iz tog rada i posvećenosti njemu; moj emotivni i mentalni mir zavise samo od mene, mojih odluka i moje posvećenosti tome – a ništa u životu nije vrednije od osećanja ispunjenosti životom.

Buba večeras odlazi za Emirate. Moja Buba.

Večeras je nedelju dana od onog videa koji sam video preko fejsa, koji mi je otvorio oči da razmislim šta želim u životu, i pokrenem se da to jebeno ostvarim, i jebem kevu. Neki dani su sami po sebi pozitivniji, drugi su manje, ali držanje za svoju radnu rutinu održava me na svom putu. I to je to – u najvećoj meri sva mudrost uspeha i življenja. Odluke, organizacija, trud i posvećenost. Rad na sebi, i učenje o sebi. Inače, sad vidim, taj video postavljen je tačno na moj 33. rođendan.

Večeras, dok Buba bude letela, gledaću završnu trećinu Interstellara. Film o avanturističkom duhu, i jedna neverovatna ljubavna priča. Dok bude letela, ostaviću cigare. Dok bude letela, meditiraću. Dok bude letela, spavaću i sanjaću. Sutra je jedan sasvim novi dan – novi dan ostatka mog života.

U decembru krećem na jogu. Možda i plivanje, možda i planinarenje. Život je kosmos, duša je šuma.

PS – danas je i prvih deset dana mog magičnog 33. rođendana.

12. novembar 2014. – POSTAVLJANJE

1. 6 Techniques To Leading A Truly Fulfilling Life: 1) Understand  YOU Determine The Direction YOUR Life Takes (“Events that change our lives may not be by chance, but rather may be called to us by our higher self. We must understand that we can become conditioned by various influences if we allow, life and its great mysteries can be glossed over. Our ego mind can drive us to distraction, into debt and make us oblivious to what is really important in life.”); 2) Avoiding Attachment Leads To Happiness (“The principle reasoning behind many of our current wants is in no way practical, serving only the ego, status and ostentatious nature of the individual. Attachment is the wanting to hold onto and keep a permanent state and not be separated from a thing or person. The general principle behind non-attachment is to cultivate a mind of detachment. Once we do this we can then move towards a mind of oneness which involves compassion, an understanding of impermanence and seeing experiences for what they are.”); 3) Embracing Happiness (“Once we have let go of our attachments we start to realize that happiness is already within us. We can develop this by recognizing and allowing ourselves to be able to tap into this sacred source through meditation, silence and other spiritual practices. By filling our lives with love and practicing; internally cultivating love towards yourself, others and the entire universe we forget self and think of others. Most of our issues, problems and stress come from focusing on ourselves. Our ego and selfish desires will only bring us sorrow, longing and anxiety.”); 4) Cultivating Awareness (“True awareness is being able to observe and understand life as an impartial viewer.  For the most part, awareness of our physical world is about being in the moment and experiencing the now. It is not about being on auto pilot and doing things out of habit. Our ego, attachment and constant distractions are remnants of our conditioning and must be observed, understood and overcome if we are to achieve true awareness.  If we can let go and drop our ideas of ownership, possession and labelling and see everything as one and everyone as connected and become more aware of our lives.”); 5) Understanding Fear (“Fear is an emotional response to something that may or may not happen at a future point in time.  Most fear is false and imagined; it exists only in the mind of the individual. Fear is a psychological construct of the mind presenting itself  in many forms, these include, worry, anger, anxiety, stress, phobia, etc. Our minds are racing with thoughts of non-achievement, failure, dependency, resentment, bitterness, fatigue,  jealousy, attachment and insecurity. Most of our fears come as a result of learning. We are conditioned to experience certain fear states over the course of our lives. Fear can be released if we realize we are manifesting most of these states ourselves by focusing on past or potential future events that will most probably never happen. Once we realize this there is almost nothing to fear.”); 6) Realize That Everything Changes (“When we understand and accept that nothing is permanent, our wisdom grows. This allows us to let go of everything, enjoy life and be free. […] All will eventually come and go. Deep down we all know this but we struggle with this truth for most of our lives. Some days we are happy and some days we are unhappy. We are in a constant sphere of change. The more we fight this, the more misery it will cause us. By learning to understand that everything changes can we begin to live life uninhibited and avoid getting trapped in a rigid worldview and way of life.”).

2. 5 Spiritual Practices That Will Transform Your Life: 1) Stop, and Take 10 Seconds (“An amazing realization is that no matter how immediate or seemingly important an issue is in your life, you can always take just 10 seconds to not think about it. Sometimes it’s very difficult to stop thinking about a problem in our life for good, but the mind will always be able to understand that not thinking about your problem for just 10 seconds is justifiable.  One of the realizations that set in for me when I would attempt to take a ten second break from thinking is that thinking is an addiction.  I couldn’t stop doing it, and it felt so good to do.  Thought is a drug. We can’t stop indulging in it. Our minds crave it, and we can’t resist the cravings it gets. And the worst part is, we end up emotional victims to whatever thoughts it decides to feed off of.  But the amazing thing is, you can enact your will and actually choose to not think.  Right now, claim this in your mind: “For the next 10 seconds, I am not going to believe a SINGLE thing my mind says because I am going to choose not to think.  Any thought that arises is just a pattern and is not reflective of my will or intentions”.  Sure enough, halfway through you will see thoughts arise again.  But they aren’t yours. They are patterns. And you know this because you already claimed that any thought that arises is not yours.  Try to not think for just ten seconds right now, and pay attention to the involuntary thought patterns that arise.”); 2) Go Into The Now (“What does this tell us about the nature of the voices in our head?  That they only have power over our emotions when we give reality to them.”; “Don’t think about feeling it, just feel it. […] Just be present and listen, without adding any additional content to the moment. Do this right now.”); 3) Choose Your Own Mental Activity (“Pay attention to how it feels to choose a thought, and how much different it feels from the rest of the thoughts we think. […] It’s a good habit to get into not only choosing a new thought, but choosing a new story composed of a series of thoughts. […] But you can easily catch your mental programs reacting this way against your will, and use your will to create the alternative thoughts ‘I am learning what to do, and this current phase is only a stepping stone that will lead me to where I want to be in life’. Notice how your body reacts to the introduction of a positive thought.  Your body loves it. More serotonin gets released immediately the moment you chose a more positive perspective. You can feel the levels of stress and anxiety decrease right away, and all you did was say some words in your mind which were equally as true and valid as the ones that were causing you suffering. […] The more you can feel great, the more productive you will be, the more clarity you will have to address issues in your life, and the more energy you will have to get you to where you want to go.”); 4) Bring Consciousness To Each Action (“These daydreams are usually filled with unnecessary thoughts that cause us more suffering and misery.  We waste a lot of our time daydreaming away our present moment because our mind is so obsessed with getting to the next moment and the next moment, as if ‘the next moment’ ever arrives, and as if the next moment is more important than this one. Try to bring attention to every single action that you normally wouldn’t treat as being important. […] The mind will want to start rambling, but don’t let it overtake you, just for a minute. […] Don’t think about feeling them, just feel them. […] This helps generate present moment awareness and creates a breakage in the compulsive suffering-breeding mental chatter. […] Taking conscious breaths is another great way to do this.  It’s always good to take just a few seconds away from autopilot mode, create a breakage in the stream of automatic thoughts, and bring your full attention to an action that is normally just a method from getting from moment A to moment B.”); 5) Become The Witness (“This is the greatest kept secret of all.  No matter how busy and cluttered your mind is, and no matter how much pain it is causing you, you can always choose to be the witness of it.  Instead of being the character in the unfolding of your life, you have the ability to become the witness of this character.  Something that I’ve been asking myself a lot lately whenever I feel something distasteful in my mind or in my energy field is “Can it be seen?”.  The answer is always yes.  If it can be seen by you, and if you can point to it, then it’s not you.  If you can notice it happening within you, then there is an implicit separation between you (the noticer) and the activity which is being noticed.  There is the thought or the emotion, and then there is the awareness outside of the thought or the emotion that is able to notice it. […] An amazing realization is that the thinker is not who you are.  You are not your mind, and you are not the voices in your head.  You are instead the conscious space that thought exists within.  Go to the place of that space, and rest there as the background awareness of the activity. […] We are literally possessed by these voices, and they end up driving us into misery and sometimes insanity. […] Just as a room is the space and not the furniture within it, you are the space of consciousness and not the objects within it.  Practice watching the contents within your awareness. Decide not to make a fuss about them or give them your attention anymore.  Just notice that they are there. […] The key is to actually practice creating shifts in your consciousness away from continuous thought.  Take a deep breath.  Listen to the voices in your head. You are the witness of them.  Look around you.  What is happening right now? You are here, right now, and you’re at peace.“).

3. What Can Make You Happier, Increase Your Attention Span and Even Make You More Courageous?: “Meditation.” (“Take just five minutes each day to watch your breath go in and out. While you do so, try to remain patient. If you find your mind drifting, just slowly bring it back to focus. Meditation takes practice, but it’s one of the most powerful happiness interventions. Studies show that in the minutes right after meditating, we experience feelings of calm and contentment, as well as heightened awareness and empathy. And, research even shows that regular meditation can permanently rewire the brain to raise levels of happiness, lower stress, even improve immune function. […] Results showed that this meditation practice produced increases over time in daily experiences of positive emotions, which, in turn, produced increases in a wide range of personal resources (e.g., increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, decreased illness symptoms). In turn, these increments in personal resources predicted increased life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms. […] a group randomly assigned to 5 days of meditation practice with the integrative body–mind training method shows significantly better attention and control of stress than a similarly chosen control group given relaxation training. […] given 5 days of 20-min integrative training showed greater improvement in conflict scores on the Attention Network Test, lower anxiety, depression, anger, and fatigue, and higher vigor on the Profile of Mood States scale, a significant decrease in stress-related cortisol, and an increase in immunoreactivity. […] Rather than trying to talk yourself out of fear, you can confront it head on by getting control of your heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension. Members of the Courage 50 frequently pointed to mental practices related to self-soothing. Some exercised or practiced yoga on a regular basis. Others meditated or prayed when they found themselves in fearful situations. Many of them had developed personal breathing rituals through which they could slow their heart rate and relax. […] A recent study at Massachusetts General Hospital showed that practicing meditation for twenty-seven minutes a day created lasting brain changes in… eight weeks. […] Focus all attention on your breathing. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale through your nostrils. Breathe deeply and slowly. When your attention wanders, gently return your focus to your breathing.“)

4. 7 Meditation & Mindfulness Practices for a Busy Life: 1) In the Shower; 2) Tea & Drinks; 3) Eating with Awareness; 4) Waiting in Line; 5) While Walking; 6) Stretching or Exercising; 7) Before Sleeping & Help Sleeping.

5. Improve Your Life: What 10 Things Should You Do Every Day To Improve Your Life? 1) Get out in nature; 2) Exercise; 3) Spend time with friends and family; 4) Express gratitude; 5) Meditate; 6) Get enough sleep; 7) Challenge yourself; 8) Laugh; 9) Touch someone; 10) Be optimistic.

6. Here’s the Magic Number That Leads to Happiness: A ratio of 3 to 1. (“we need to have three positive emotions for every negative one in order to thrive. […] if we really want to prosper, we shouldn’t try to eliminate negative emotions, rather, we should work on keeping the ratio at three positive for every one negative. Most of us, she has found, have two positive experiences for every negative. This gets us by, but it is effectively languishing. […] While 3 to 1 keeps you happy, 5 to 1 keeps relationships smooth. […] five-to-one ratio also appears to be essential when you get home and try to muster the energy for a successful marriage. John Gottmann at the University of Washington has found that couples with a ratio of fewer than five positive interactions for every negative one are destined for divorce. […] The specific ratio for different relationships varies, with the overall pattern indicating the more distant the relationship, the more good you need for every bad. […] Just as well we’ve also seen in the past that it usually benefits us more to focus on increasing the good vs trying to eliminate the bad. […] The best way to maximize happiness when having meals with friends is for one person to take a turn each time paying for everyone’s dinner. It’s a big hit but it results in many more “free” meals for everyone, boosting happiness. […] Divorce may have less to do with an increase in conflict and more to do with a decrease in positive feelings. It’s a better strategy for couples to increase fun moments together rather than trying to eliminate the bad times. […] As Pete Drucker said: ‘In identifying opportunities for improvement, don’t waste time cultivating skill areas where you have little competence. Instead, concentrate on – and build on – your strengths.’ […] When it comes to happiness, frequency beats intensity.“)

7. 8 Secrets for Beating a Bad Mood: 1) Move; 2) Eat healthy foods throughout the day; 3) Get enough sleep; 4) Spend time with friends, or people who make you laugh; 5) Put on music that you love; 6) Sit up straight; 7) Avoid alcohol; 8) Get in the sun.

8. 25 Traits of Mentally Strong People:

12 Things Successful People Do Before Breakfast*

Are you starting your day off productively?

If it has to happen, then it has to happen first, writes Laura Vanderkam, time management expert and author of “What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast.”

Those among us who have managed to find professional success and eke out a life actively embrace this philosophy. They must set aside their first hours of the day to invest in their top-priority activities before other people’s priorities come rushing in.

Science supports this strategy. Vanderkam cites Florida State University psychology professor Roy Baumeister’s famous finding that willpower is like a muscle that becomes fatigued from overuse. Diets, he says, come undone in the evening, just as poor self-control and lapses in decision-making often come later in the day. On the other hand, early mornings offer a fresh supply of willpower, and people tend to be more optimistic and ready to tackle challenging tasks.

So what do successful executives and entrepreneurs do when they are rested and fresh? From Vanderkam’s study of morning rituals, we outline the following 12 things that the most successful people do before breakfast.

1. They wake up early.

Successful people know that time is a precious commodity. And while theirs is easily eaten up by phone calls, meetings, and sudden crises once they’ve gotten to the office, the morning hours are under their control. That’s why many of them rise before the sun, squeezing out as much time as they can to do with as they please.

In a poll of 20 executives cited by Vanderkam, 90% said they wake up before 6 a.m. on weekdays. PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi, for example, wakes at 4 a.m. and is in the office no later than 7 a.m. Meanwhile, Disney CEO Bob Iger gets up at 4:30 to read, and Square CEO Jack Dorsey is up at 5:30 to jog.

The bottom line: Productive mornings start with early wake-up calls.

2. They exercise before it falls off the to-do list.

The top morning activity of the rich and powerful seems to be exercise, be it lifting weights at home or going to the gym. According to Vanderkam, Xerox CEO Ursula Burns schedules an hour-long personal training session starting at 6 a.m. twice a week; Christies CEO Steve Murphy uses the mornings to do yoga; and Starwood Hotels CEO Frits van Paasschen runs for an hour every morning starting at 5:30.

“These are incredibly busy people,” says Vanderkam. “If they make time to exercise, it must be important.”

Beyond the fact that exercising in the morning means they can’t later run out of time, Vanderkam says a pre-breakfast workout helps reduce stress later in the day, counteracts the effects of high-fat diet, and improves sleep.

3. They work on a top-priority business project.

The quiet hours of the morning can be the ideal time to focus on an important work project without being interrupted. What’s more, spending time on it at the beginning of the day ensures that it gets your attention before others (kids, employees, bosses) use it all up.

Vanderkam uses the example of business strategist Debbie Moysychyn, who dealt with so many ad hoc meetings and interruptions throughout the day that she felt she couldn’t get anything done. She started thinking of the early mornings as project time, and chose a top-priority project each day to focus on. Sure enough, not a single colleague dropped in on her at 6:30 a.m. She could finally concentrate.

4. They work on a personal passion project.

Novel-writing and art-making is easy to skip when you’ve been in meetings all day, are tired and hungry, and have to figure out what’s for dinner. That’s why many successful people put in an hour or so on their personal projects before they officially start their days.

History teacher Charlotte Walker-Said told Vanderkam she spends the hours between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. working on a book about the religious politics of West Africa. She can read journal articles and write several pages before dealing with her teaching responsibilities at the University of Chicago.

Carving out the time in the morning to write, and making it a habit, meant she would actually follow through. Vanderkam cites one study of young professors that showed writing a little bit every day rather than in intense bursts made them more likely to get tenure.

5. They spend quality time with family.

We may exalt the family dinner, but there’s nothing that says you have to have a big family meal at night, says Vanderkam. Some successful people use the mornings to invest in family time, whether reading stories to the kids or cooking a big breakfast together.

Judi Rosenthal, a financial planner in New York, told Vanderkam that unless she’s traveling mornings are her special time with her young daughter. She helps her get dressed, make the bed, and occasionally they work on art projects together. They also make breakfast and sit at around the table and chat about what’s going on. She calls those 45 minutes “the most precious time I have in a day.”

6. They connect with their spouses.

In the evening, it’s more likely you’ll be tired from the day’s activities, and time can easily be wasted with dinner preparations and zoning out in front of the TV. That’s why many successful people make connecting with their partners a morning ritual.

Besides, as Vanderkam wonders, what could be better than pre-dawn sex to energize you for the day? After all, regular sex may make you smarter, boost your income, and burn calories.

Even if they’re not getting frisky every morning, many couples use the early hours to talk. For instance, BlackRock Managing Director Obie McKenzie and his wife commute from the suburbs into New York City every morning. They spend the hour-plus trip discussing their lives, finances, household to-do lists, and plans for the week.

7. They network over coffee.

Especially if you like to make it home for dinner, the mornings can be a great time to meet with people for coffee or breakfast. Plus, networking breakfasts are less disruptive than midday lunches and more work-oriented than boozy cocktail parties, Vanderkam notes.

Christopher Colvin, a New York-based lawyer and entrepreneur, started a networking group for Ivy League alums called IvyLife. Most days he wakes at 5:30 a.m. to walk his dog and read, but every Wednesday he attends an IvyLife networking breakfast. “I feel I’m fresher and more creative in the mornings,” he told Vanderkam. “By the end of the day my mind is more cluttered.”

8. They meditate to clear their minds.

Type-A personalities typically demand as much from others as they do from themselves, so it can be difficult for them to disconnect from their mental to-do lists and calm their minds. Before they head out the door, many successful people devote themselves to a spiritual practice such as meditation or prayer to center themselves for the rush of the day.

Manisha Thakor, a former corporate executive who founded and now runs MoneyZen Wealth Management, practices transcendental meditation to clear her mind. She does two 20-minute sessions a day, the first before breakfast and the second in the evening, and focuses on breathing and repeating a mantra in her head. She’s found it to be “one of the most life-enhancing practices” she’s ever experienced, she told Vanderkam.

9. They write down things they’re grateful for.

Expressing gratitude is another great way to center yourself and get the proper perspective before heading to the office. Writing down the people, places, and opportunities that you’re grateful for takes just a few minutes but can make a real difference in your outlook.

Pharmaceutical exec Wendy Kay told Vanderkam she spends a good chunk of her morning “expressing gratitude, asking for guidance, and being open to inspiration.” When she gets to work, she always has a clear vision for herself and her staff.

10. They plan and strategize while they’re fresh.

Planning the day, week, or month ahead is an important time management tool to keep you on track when you’re in the thick of it. Using the mornings to do big-picture thinking helps you prioritize and set the trajectory of the day.

Banking exec turned teacher Christine Galib wakes at 5 a.m. on weekdays, exercises, reads a few Bible verses, and reviews her tasks for the day before making breakfast. She told Vanderkam this ritual makes her days more manageable and effective.

11. They check their email.

While time management gurus may suggest putting off email as long as possible, many successful people start the day with email. They may quickly scan their inboxes for urgent messages that need an immediate response or craft a few important emails that they can better focus on while their minds are fresh.

For instance, Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project,” wakes at 6 every morning before her family’s up at 7. She uses the time to clear her inbox, schedule the day, and read social media. Getting these tasks out of the way from the start helps her concentrate better when she moves on to more challenging projects, she told Vanderkam.

12. They read the news.

Whether it’s sitting in the corner diner and reading the papers or checking the blogs and Twitter from their phones, most successful people have a pre-breakfast ritual for getting the latest headlines.

For example, GE CEO Jeff Immelt starts his days with a cardio workout and then reads the paper and watches CNBC. Meanwhile, Virgin America CEO David Cush uses his mornings to listen to sports radio and read the papers while hitting the stationary bike at the gym.

By the time they get to work, they have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in the world. Then, they can get down to the business of changing it.

This article was originally published on Business Insider.

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24sata: Motivacione poruke koje će vas izvući iz “bedaka”

10 Sentences That Can Change Your Perspective On Life

14 Inspirational Quotes for 2014*

I used to hate inspirational quotes, maybe because my wrestling coach used to say, “If you’re not puking or passing out… you’re not trying hard enough.” (Go ahead: bask in the warm glow of that little gem.)

Now I think inspirational quotes can indeed be inspirational–but only if we actually apply and live those words.

So instead of just grabbing famous quotes we’ve all heard before, I’ve picked things people told me that caused me to act differently. I probably won’t remember what, say, Ben Franklin once said, no matter how poignant or witty, but I definitely remember what certain people said to me at critical moments in my life:

1. “Only a genius can do things his own way. You? You’re no genius.” I worked a construction job one summer and kept questioning what I was told to do. The foreman finally, in no uncertain terms, set me straight. It’s okay to reinvent the wheel, but only after you know how the current wheel works. Never assume you know better when you don’t really know anything.

2. “If you want to know how much you’ll be missed when you are gone, put your finger in a bucket of water and then remove it. The hole that’s left will be how much you are missed.” No one is irreplaceable. No one. Not even this guy. Instead of depressing, the thought we’re professionally replaceable is liberating. You may not leave a hole, but you can leave a mark on a person, a team, or a culture that lives on after you’re gone.

You may not be missed but you can be remembered–in the best possible way.

3. “We all have limits. Almost no one reaches theirs. You definitely haven’t.” You could swim faster if a shark was on your tail. You could run faster if your child was in danger. You could work harder if the payoff was truly exceptional.

What we think we can do is always–always–less than what we can do if we really, really try. We always have a little more in us. Find your true limits and you may find that success is limitless.

4. “Unless you’re the lead dog in the sled, the view never changes.” Following the crowd means living the same life as the crowd. You don’t want that.

5. “There are two types of pain you will go through in life: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weights tons.” (Original to Jim Rohn.) The worst words you can say are, “I just wish I had…” Push yourself to do what you hope to do… so you will never have to regret not having tried.

6. “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” (Gotta love Dean Wormer.) I haven’t overcome the stupid part… but I’m trying.

7. “The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one.” (Original to Ernest Hemingway.) Think about easing into a cold ocean; every inch is excruciating. Dive in and it sucks big time, but then it’s over. It’s even worse to turn away from what scares you because when you do, deep inside, a little piece of you withers and dies.

Dive in. It’s never as cold, or as bad, as you think.

8. “Today’s pain is tomorrow’s power. The more you suffer today, the stronger you are tomorrow.” Self-pity is self-defeating. Tomorrow’s success is based on today’s discomfort. Plus willpower is like a muscle: the more you exercise it, the stronger your will gets.

And the easier it is to call on when dedication and persistence make all the difference.

9. “Bravery means finding something more important than fear.” Courage without meaning is just recklessness. Brave people aren’t fearless; they’ve simply found something that matters more to them than the fear they’re facing. Say you’re scared to start a business. Find a reason that has greater meaning than the fear: Your family’s future, your desire to make a difference, or your dream of a more fulfilling life.

When you find a greater meaning you find the courage to overcome your fear.

10. “Do it or not. There is no try.” (Original Yoda, philosopher and avant-garde sentence constructor.) A boss once gave me what I thought was an impossible task. I said, “Okay… I’ll try.” He explained that I would finish as long as I didn’t quit. Trying didn’t enter into it. Persistence was all that mattered.

Often we say, “I’ll try…” because it gives us an out. Once we say, “I will,” our perspective changes. What previously seemed insurmountable is no longer a matter of luck or chance but of time and effort and persistence.

When what you want to do really matters, never say, “I’ll try.” Say, “I will,” and keep that promise to yourself.

11. “Stop waiting for the ‘right time.’ Success is a numbers game: the number of times you take a shot.” You’ll never create the perfect business plan, never find the perfect partners, the perfect market, the perfect location, but you can find the perfect time to start.

That time is now.

Talent, experience, and connections are important, but put your all into enough new things and some will work. Take enough shots and over time you’ll grow more skilled, more experienced, and more connected. And that will mean a greater percentage of your efforts will succeed. Take enough shots, learn from what didn’t work, and in time you’ll have all the skills, experience, and connections you need.

Ultimately success is all about taking your shot, over and over again. Sometimes you may win, sometimes you will definitely lose, but the more things you try the more chances you have of succeeding. Put the power of numbers on your side. Take as many shots as you can. There’s no guarantee of success, but when you don’t take a shot, there’s a definite guarantee of failure.

12. “Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die.” The same holds for bitterness. And jealousy. And dislike. Let it go. If you don’t, the only loser is you.

13. “The extra mile is a vast, unpopulated wasteland.” (Me.) Everyone says they go the extra mile, but almost no one actually does. Most people think, “Wait… no one else is here… why am I doing this?”

That’s why the extra mile is such a lonely place. That’s also why the extra mile is a place filled with opportunities. Be early. Stay late. Make the extra phone call. Send the extra email. Do the extra research. Help a customer unload or unpack a shipment. Don’t wait to be asked; offer. Every time you do something, think of one extra thing you can do–especially if other people aren’t doing that one thing. Sure, it’s hard.

But that’s what will make you different–and over time will make you incredibly successful.

14. “It’s just a flesh wound.” The Black Knight never gives up.

Neither should we.

Now it’s your turn: What has another person said to you that made a lasting impact? Add your favorite quotes in the comments below!

* Inc.

Cracked: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

True Activist: 13 Ways to Become More Productive

Success Magazine: Make Productivity a Habit

Business Insider: 7 Easy Ways to Become a Morning Person

Time: The 20 Minute Morning Routine Guaranteed to Make Your Day Excellent

Business Insider: How to Become a Manager That People Actually Want to Work For

TED: Never, ever give up

How to Have a Good DayHow to Have a Lovely Day12 Things Happy People Do Differently

12 stvari koje mentalno jaki ljudi ne rade*

Mentalno jaki ljudi imaju zdrave navike. Oni upravljaju svojim emocijama, mislima i ponašanjima na način koji ih podešava za uspjeh u životu. Pogledajte stvari koje mentalno jaki ljudi ne praktikuju u svom životu. I vi možete primjeniti ove strategije i postati mentalno jači.

1. Oni ne gube vrijeme sažaljevajući sebe

Mentalno jaki ljudi ne sjede skrštenih ruku sažaljevajući sebe i jadikujući nad svojim životnim okolnostima ili jadikujući nad ponašanjima drugih ljudi prema njima. Umjesto toga, oni preuzimaju odgovornost za svoju ulogu u životu i prihvataju činjenicu da život nije uvijek lak i fer.

2. Oni ne daju svoju moć drugim ljudima

Oni ne dozvoljavaju drugim ljudima da ih kontrolišu, ne daju drugoj osobi vlast nad njima.Oni ne kažu stvari poput “Zbog mog šefa se osjećam loše”, jer oni razumeju da oni imaju kontrolu nad svojim emocijama i da oni prave izbor kako će reagovati.

3. Oni ne bježe od promjene

Mentalno jaki ljudi ne pokušavaju da izbjegnu promjene. Umjesto toga, oni su prihvataju pozitivne promjene i spremni da budu fleksibilni. Oni razumiju da je promjena neizbježna i vjeruju u svoje sposobnosti da se prilagode.

4. Oni ne gube energiju na stvari koje ne mogu da kontrolišu

Nećete čuti mentalno jaku osobu da se žali zbog saobraćajne gužve. Umjesto toga, oni se fokusiraju na ono što oni mogu kontrolisati u njihovim životima. Oni znaju da jedino što mogu da kontrolišu je njihov stav.

5. Oni ne teže da zadovolje želje i zamisli drugih ljudi

Mentalno jaki ljudi prepoznaju da oni ne treba da ugađaju svima sve vrijeme. Oni se ne bojeda kažu „NE“ i da se zauzmu za svoj stav kada je to potrebno. Oni nastoje da ostvare svoje cilje i zauzmu se za sebe a istovremeno da budu ljubazni, fer i poštuju pravu drugih ljudi.

6. Oni se ne boje da preuzmu proračunate rizike

Oni ne uzimaju nesmotrene ili budalaste rizike, ali preuzimaju kalkulisane rizike. Mentalno jaki ljudi provode vrijeme vagajući rizike i koristi prije donošenja velike odluke, oni su u potpunosti upoznati sa potencijalnim nedostacima prije nego što preduzmu akciju.

7. Oni ne razmišljaju previše o prošlosti

Mentalno jaki ljudi ne gube vrijeme zadržavajući se na prošlosti i želeći da stvari budu drugačije. Oni priznaju svoju prošlost i izvlače pouke i lekcije iz proslosti. Međutim, oni stalno ne oživljavaju loša iskustva iz prošlosti ili maštaju o slavnim danima u budućnosti. Umjesto toga, oni žive u sadašnjosti i planiraju budućnost.

8. Oni ne prave iste greške iznova i iznova

Mentalno jaki ljudi prihvataju odgovornost za svoje ponašanje i uče iz svojih prethodnih grešaka. Kao rezultat toga, oni ne ponavljaju te greške iznova i iznova. Umjesto toga, oni nastavljau svoj put i donose bolje odluke u budućnosti.

9. Oni ne zavide drugim ljudima na njihovom uspjehu

Mentalno jaki ljudi mogu cijeniti i poštovati uspjehe drugih ljudi u životu. Oni ne osjećaju ljubomoru ili se osjećaju prevarenim kada ih drugi nadmaši. Umjesto toga, oni priznaju da uspjeh dolazi napornim radom, a oni su spremni da naporno rade za svoju šansu za uspjeh.

10. Oni ne odustaju poslije prvog neuspjeha

Mentalno jaki ljudi ne vidite neuspeh kao razlog da se odreknu svoj cilja. Umjesto toga, oni koriste neuspjeh kao priliku da razvoj i poboljšanja. Oni su spremni da pokušavaju sve dok ne ostvare svoj san.

11. Oni se ne boje da provode vreme sami

Mentalno jaki ljudi mogu tolerisati da budu sami i oni ne plaše tišine. Oni se ne plaše da budu sami sa svojim mislima i oni koriste predahe da budu produktivni. Oni uživaju u samoći.

12.Oni ne očekuju brze rezultate i uspjeh preko noći

Bilo da se radi na poboljšanju svog zdravlja ili dobijanju novog posla, mentalno jaki ljudi ne očekuju brze rezultate. Umjesto toga, oni usavršavaju svoje vještine i čine stvari najbolje što mogu i prihvataju da je za prave i velike promene potrebno vrijeme.

*Buka

i_no_longer_have_the energy_

Ivi

Ništa mi više nije jasno. Žene. Znam da između nas dvoje postoji ta hemija, i znam da je privlačim. A ona zna da ona privlači mene. Ono što mene muči – cedi i suši – jeste nerazumevanje onoga što ona zapravo misli, iako je to što misli navodno vrlo jasno: “mi nismo jedno za drugo, nikada nismo ni bili”.

E sad, moj problem… Taj osećaj nepripadnosti i neuklopljenosti, osećaj stida i sramote, zbog kojih imam problem da se približim drugim ljudima, uprkos tome što su mi zanimljivi i što mislim da bih i ja bio zanimljiv njima. A tu je i moj ego, koji me često tera u tako daleke ekstreme, poput onoga: “ili sam u centru pažnje ja – ili odoh”. Mada, zapravo, i nije tako, prilično sam se po tom pitanju popravio… u izvesnoj meri: najradije ću biti sam. Iako nisam preterani ljubitelj samoće, odnosno, osamljen sam iz neke potrebe za balansom, koji mi se u kontaktu samo sa veoma malim brojem ljudi ne remeti.

Nego, da nastavim gde sam stao. Mislim da Ivi, iako je rekla to što je rekla, ako je kao većina devojaka, onda to i nije mislila – a ako je i kao većina devojaka, onda zapravo želi da bude osvajana i jurena… Iako, kada smo raskinuli, imao sam taj osećaj da ne želi da je jurim i da želi da bude sama i bavi se sobom, ili nešto slično tome – a definitivno bez nekoga ko će da joj nabija nelagodu itd. A ja se, u velikoj meri, još uvek osećam kao neko ko bi mogao da joj nabija nervozu i nelagodu, jer to isto osećam u sebi – najviše opsesivno se baveći svojim slabostima i svojim strahovima, posvećujući im previše pažnje, umesto da se posvetim stvarima koje mi prijaju i koje bi moje emotivno polje ojačale: “ne, trenutno nemam život kakav želim – i trenutno nisam u fazonu jurenja takvog života – uglavnom zato što previše značaja pridajem njegovim negativnim aspektima, što me izuzetno iscrpljuje – ali postoje druge stvari koje su mi dostupne koje me ispunjavaju i usrećuju, i koje bi to mogle, i ako oprostim sebi sve one loše stvari iz prošlosti i prepustim se pozitivnim stvarima, ili se posvetim pronalaženju onoga što bi me ispunilo pozitivnom energijom – sigurno bi mi se povećala i ta toliko cenjena a nedovoljno negovana životna energija, što bi mi definitivno pomoglo i u svakodnevnim obavezama, poput traženja posla, učenja, itd”. A to bi, siguran sam, doprinelo i tome da me drugim očima vidi i Ivi. I Ivi, i ja.

Ali, ja nisam više siguran to za Ivi. draga mi je, znači mi – neverovatno mi je privlačna – ali nisam više tako siguran da bi me ona zaista usrećila i ispunila. Ne zato što je ona previše jednostavna, prazna, itd, već zato što sam ja složen. Mada, sa druge strane, ljubav ispunjava, per se.